Recently I found myself stuck in a situation that I’d found myself in before — and frustrated in finding myself there again! Being an “action” person, a problem-solver, my first instinct was to jump in and do something to change or improve the situation.
And that’s when my inner alarm bell went off, and a voice buried deep in my brain said,
“Maybe you should do nothing.”
What? Nothing? And so I did….nothing. The outcome? The situation resolved itself, even better than I could have imagined! Yes!
Those frustrating situations in which we find ourselves over and over typically have their roots in our habitual choices and behaviours. We create our realities. Change the choice, change the outcome. Take a pause and consider a reset!
This experience was, for me, also a powerful reminder that we can pick our battles, that not everything requires our input or action, and that we can choose to let (some) situations flow naturally, in their own time. One’s urgency to ”fix” a problem or force an outcome doesn’t allow for situations or challenges to self-correct.
And if the situation is a result of someone else’s action(s), consider this: how we choose to react — or respond — to someone else’s behaviour, and whether or not we can hold space for someone to step into their best way of being, may also allow each of us to step into our best way of being.
As Deepak Chopra says in his book “The Path to Love”:
“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. The past is closed and limited; the future is open and free.”
Clear a path to your new future!
TIP: I often hear clients say “but there was nothing else I could do…!” But know this: there is always another choice. We just need to be open to the possibility of responding in a different way (which can also include not responding). Look for possibilities elsewhere.
One tactic I often take with clients (and, yes, for myself!) is to simply pull a few cards from a tarot or oracle deck, and ask a simple question of each card such as:
“What perspective am I not seeing in this situation?”
“What could support this situation in resolving itself for the highest good for all involved?”
You can also look at tools like Edward de Bono’s “Six Thinking Hats” exercise.
Forcing ourselves to look at a situation through a different lens can open up all kinds of new options!